PSYCHOLOGY / BEHAVIOUR
THE "EGO"
from the desk of Joseph Patrick Jakubal
Alright, let's talk about illusions i.e., those things that hide "truth" behind ...
"veils of deception".
Basically, we are "trapped" by our own illusions plus the ones we "pick up" from friends, enemies,
society, and the world in general.
If we cannot "depend" on our beliefs ... then, we are stuck
in a made-up reality, prisoners of our own minds.
This whole "illusion paradigm?" It is what psychology calls, the "EGO".
Typically, ego acts like a bunch of invisible "filters". They "twist" how
we see life, however, it happens so slowly that we rarely perceive it.
We think our feelings, judgments and opinions are "truth",
however they are not. They come from our "wants", "attachments", and what we "expect".
And, the funny
thing? We rarely question ego's authority. We tell ourselves, "Hey, I mean well, so I must be a
good person." In a way, that lets us off the hook, i.e., we do not have to look at how ego
locks us into fixed patterns or "defines our whole existence".
Spotting ego is tough. Yeah, we might *think* we understand it on an "intellectual basis". We might assume
mindfulness alone can move us past it. And sure, deep meditation (done with total commitment) has
the potential to melt ego into emptiness. When that happens, we are free.
Thoughts still drift
through us, but they do not "stick". We stop believing them. But here is the catch: mindfulness
and brutal self honesty have to go hand-in-hand to really shatter illusion.
Ego rarely lets itself be seen. It
rationalizes every dislike and judgment (that is its favorite trick). If it is not dissolved, it
controls even the most earnest truth seekers ... without them ever realizing it.
Ego drives everything we do. It is packed with desires, (things we want
or hate), and it knows how to get its way. It forms from childhood conditioning and how we react to
life.
Take fear: it carves "grooves" into our personalities, and we end up
seeing life through those warped lenses. We build responses, ideas, and opinions that thicken "ego's
walls".
Fear becomes part of our reality, driving future actions and building
bigger illusions.
It locks us into ignorance, trapping us in the past, in a version of ourselves that was "frozen"
in that scary moment.
But we do not see this. Instead, we are busy hating whatever caused the
fear. One bad moment can mess us up forever. We carry it around, out of context, never
questioning that it was temporary and totally irrelevant to eternal truth.
We live by an
opinion frozen in time. The same thing applies to pleasure, i.e. like praise, food, sex,
money - or anger and offense. Ego becomes a straitjacket around our true selves.
Why does ego run the show? What is in it for us? Well, it gives us a
sense of definition. It builds "fake confidence" and even "superiority". If we seem "cool", we feel
"accepted". If we act "authoritative", we feel "powerful".
If we are nice, we think we are good. But it is
all "surface level". It creates a "false self" that holds us back instead of trusting our deeper,
wiser nature.
Ego ties us to the small "I", not the BIG "I." In Zen terms: Small Mind vs.
Big Mind. Small Mind latches onto petty, limited thoughts. Those spark emotions, then feelings, then
opinions, then judgments ... and suddenly they define our lives.
What we decide, what we chase or
run from, who we think we are. Ego's pieces feel like security ... "I am defined. I know where I
stand." We hang out with similar people. It feels safe. But it suffocates the spirit and
strangles truth.
Big Mind demands ditching ego. Even truth-seekers stumble here. We cling
to ideas of enlightenment ... feeling happier or "higher" through meditation. Yet we still
judge others, paths, or states of mind. We assume "we are right".
It is hard to step back.
We do not realize we are peering through a "tiny window" ... a "cramped view". In
Sanskrit, this is "illusion". Not because it is fake, but because it is "painfully limited".
That limitation locks us in. Only deep meditation and wise teachings can crack it open.
Even sincere "truth seekers" get tangled in subtle chains (judgments and opinions).
But remember, any "opinion" locks you into an "unenlightened" view.
Ego often attaches moral judgments to "observations" ... so we can feel better
about ourselves (to feel superior).
We cling to these ideas for "definition". But the ego only uses a detached snapshot of a
passing state ... nothing absolute.
HERE IS A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO MOVE BEYOND EGO
- 1. Spot ego: Realize that your ideas, judgements, and opinions are limited. Any thought or
emotion lacks enlightenment. They are meaningless against "eternal truth". You can have them ...
but just do not believe them. Decide whether to ride them like waves or let them pass.
- 2. Question ego's grip: Ego digs in deep ... it is glued to your "self image". Trick? Drop
ideas about yourself. See that you are not your personality. Your thoughts trap you in "illusion blocking"
enlightenment.
- 3. See eternity in others: Like Jesus did. Focus on the eternal part (not temporary traits).
Takes effort. Drop judgmental views.
- 4. Meditate daily: Find innocence. Connect with Source beyond thought, judgment, ego.
It is "ultimate truth". Thoughts create "results" ... not "connection". Rumi said it best: "Be Source, not
Result." Wash your mind clean daily. Thoughts come? Do not let them stick. They build expectations,
emotions, judgments.
- 5. **Notice opinions as ego's trap**: Opinions are not wrong ... everyone has them. But
do not believe them. See them as passing clouds hiding truth. Let them go. Holding them creates
karma (hurting you and others). Traps you in stale states.
- 6. **Handle criticism right**: If judged fair or not ... hold onto your inner truth. Use
others' judgments as quick observations. Learn, then move on. Drop it. Take the Zen attitude:
"Oh, is that so?" Remember the Zen monk falsely accused by a pregnant girl. When townsfolk jailed
him, he calmly said: "Oh, is that so?" After she confessed, he repeated it when apologized to.
He knew himself ... his ego did not rely on others. Use judgment to align with truth. See
critics' limited reality. Go beyond ego. Thank them because they expose illusions.
Earth's problems come from "warped views". We fight over opinions. Hatred
grows. But see illusions with compassion. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Hold tight to the
Big I - Big Mind. Drop the little I's prison. Feel for the ignorant.
When enlightened teachers criticize, they are targeting Little
monkey mind. It is built of ideas, judgments, and scorecards ... fueled by desire. Taking
criticism with love changes you. Teachers criticize the human condition ... not your "core self".
Every student can transcend ego. So can you ... it is your birthright. Unlock it through
meditation.
Remember: criticism is fleeting. It judges personality—not eternal truth. Think of Milarepa—he killed tormentors with hail, then sought enlightenment. His teacher made him build towers, then tear them down. He endured torment. He became enlightened in one lifetime. He didn’t care who judged him. So don’t cling—whether you’re judging or judged. Holding on boxes you in. Milarepa found the way. You can too.
Dig deep for eternal truth. Let it open you to eternity in all things. See reality clearly. Move beyond illusion. Be less ruled by ego. That’s the enlightened path.
| | |